Sometimes you check your email and there’s an email saying Bob Smith wants to be your friend on Facebook.
Usually it’s someone that you kind of know but sometimes it’s someone you have never heard of, and sometimes some people just have hotter sounding names and you get all excited when you see that name.
So here at Smoke Rafer we’ve decided to draft our own teams based on name hotness. This has been done before and it’s called the ‘Lindsey Hunter All-Stars’ but there really isn’t anything hot about a girl called Zaza Pachulia.
PG: Charlie Bell
SG: Courtney Lee
SF: Sasha Vujacic
PF: Channing Frye
C: Brook[e] Lopez
At point guard we have Charlie Bell. Charlie is one of those names that I think really is a boy name but I think it’s a cute name for a girl if she has the looks to pull it off. Bell is just a nice solid last name.
Mental image of Charlie Bell – Pale skinny white girl, wavy light brown hair, some freckles, brown eyes. Alright body, nothing to write home about.
Actual Charlie Bell:
At shooting guard, Courtney Lee. When your last name is Lee, you can be White, Black or Asian. Maybe Mexican. Not sure. But for me, Courtney Lee screams Asian girl. This is the type of the girl whose parents forced her to play piano and violin while growing up. Eventually Courtney grows up to be that Asian girl that only dates white guys. Come on, you all know one of those girls.
Mental image of Courtney Lee – Slightly tan Asian girl who dyed her hair a little bit brown. Has eyeliner, wears Uggs and whatever teenage girls typically wear.
Actual Courtney Lee:
At small forward, we have Sasha Vujacic. Sasha is that hot European girl at school. She’s the girl that has features that no one else has and there is just something so European about her. Unfortunately, she can’t speak English without that weird quirky European accent and sometimes she just seems kind of out of it. She has that one European friend who is from another part of Europe and speaks some other type of European and you always wonder how they communicate.
Mental image of Sasha Vujacic – Beautiful blonde hair, strikingly European features, lips that don’t look very real. Unfortunately she has one fatal flaw that throws her off a bit… but she’s still hot. Usually this is like really crooked teeth or eyes being too close together or something.
Actual Sasha Vujacic:
At power forward, Channing Frye. The last name Frye is kind of like whatever, but Channing is kind of up there with those kinda fancy names. Think Morgan, Abigail, Madison, Gabriel or Trinity but up another level. Channing lives in a huge mansion because her dad invented something. Her mom left her dad because daddy was being a cheating asshole so she has a really hot step mom. She got her 2nd Porsche for her 16th birthday. Life is good for Channing.
Mental image of Channing Frye – Honestly not as good looking as she seems, but she has lots of money and buys designer clothes and all that. I’m thinking kind of like those girls on Gossip Girl.
Actual Channing Frye:
And starting at center, who I think is the hottest of the bunch… Brook[e] Lopez. Ok adding the E to the end of Brook just makes it so much hotter. Brooke is such a hot name. With Lopez we know we’re getting some Latina in there. Don’t immediately think of those chola chicks… I mean Jessica Alba is Hispanic. Mmmmm. But with the name Brook[e] I think there must have been some mixing so she’s probably like half Cuban and half white or something. Hottest name on the list by far.
Mental image of Brook[e] Lopez – One of those pretty hot girls that you either have to figure out that there is some Latina in there from their last name or they tell you themselves. Seriously Brooke is such a hot name. But yea she’s one of those white girls that are actually part Mexican/Latina/Whatever. She wears hot clothes and she is hot.
Actual Brook Lopez: