Early Mock Draft

I realize how stupid mock drafts are but here is an early mock draft.

1. Washington Wizards – Evan Turner

Greg Oden and Blake Griffin were both the consensus number 1 pick. What else do they have in common? Getting injured. You know what they say… lightning never strikes the same place twice, but if it strikes twice it will strike thrice.

2. Philadelphia 76ers – John Wall

Why? So we can laugh at Jrue Holiday’s face at draft night.

Turn that smile upside down buddy.

3. New Jersey Nets – Donatas Motiejunas

This is the safest pick for the Nets. If Motiejunas fucks around you have a powerful Russian guy who can just threaten to take over Lithuania. Motiejunas will be what Yi Jianlian was supposed to be.

hola

Hola.

4. Minnesota Timberwolves – Xavier Henry

What do Ray Allen, Brandon Roy and OJ Mayo have in common? They are all shooting guards drafted by the Timberwolves. They were all traded away by the Timberwolves. And they all kick ass.

The logic here is for Minnesota to draft a shooting guard who ends up being one of the top players in the draft, and this time they keep him.

5. Sacramento Kings – DeMarcus Cousins

With Cousins falling down to 5, the Kings have to take him. Spencer Hawes is a little pussy so Cousins will be the real man in the middle. Playing with a John Wall-esque guard will help the transition into the professional game. This is exciting because it can be Penny + Shaq part 2. I’m totally serious about this pick.

6. Golden State Warriors – Jeremy Lin

If Don Nelson returns to coach the Warriors next year this would be a good pick. Standing at 6’3, that height is more than enough to play Power Forward for the Warriors, and with injury problems to Anthony Randolph and Brandan Wright, Lin is a good choice. Jeremy Lin has expressed interest in playing for his favorite team, and Warriors can make lots of money from jersey and ticket sales. Warriors viewing records will shatter and Warriors VS Rockets will be a bigger event than the Super Bowl. Drafting Jeremy Lin increases the value of the Warriors franchise 3 times.

7. Detroit Pistons – Cole Aldrich

Derrick Favors slipped to the 7th spot… DON’T TAKE HIM. They’ve got Charlie Villanueva. This is a win win situation because Aldrich fits a need at the Center position and Cole Aldrich doesn’t need to buy any new sneakers because the Pistons and the Jayhawks have the same colors. In this economic climate, every penny counts.

8. Los Angeles Clippers – Derrick Favors

Because you can’t trust Blake Griffin to come back. I honestly don’t know who else is on the Clippers except for Baron Davis, Eric Gordon and Chris Kaman. Not that it matters because the Clippers don’t matter.

9. Utah Jazz – Wes Johnson

I can’t think of anything clever here so here’s the pick. There is a possibility that Boozer will be leaving and Millsap won’t be the solution. Jazz can pick up a Power Forward here as insurance, but I think a stronger do it all wing player would help the Jazz out a lot.

10. Indiana Pacers – Gordon Hayward

White power!!! Pacers will select the white standout college basketball player for 2 years in a row. Pacers can roll with a big white line up with Dunleavy, Hayward, Murphy, Hansbrough and Foster. Gordon Hayward will be nicknamed the White Dream, playing high school basketball, college basketball and professional basketball all in his home state. But in all seriousness, the Pacers are the team that could have used John Wall the most. Their current point guards are TJ Ford and Earl Watson. I wouldn’t be surprised if Danny Granger gets moved some time next season and Pacers get used as a bitch team.

11. New Orleans Hornets – Hassan Whiteside

3rd time will be the charm for the high bust potential Center in New Orleans. This time the Hornets can get him when he’s not in the middle of his career and see what happens when you put a high bust potential guy next to a top point guard in the NBA.

Just kidding. I put this here because I wanted to see more alley oops. Okafor is just kinda lame.

12. Memphis Grizzlies – Al-Farouq Aminu

Al-Farouq Aminu sounds like the name of a terrorist and paired with Hamed Haddadi, the Grizzlies will have the most dangerous frontcourt in the league. ha. ha.

But honestly I’m not that sold on Aminu and I think it’s blasphemy to put him in the top 5. His ‘uniqueness’ just screams ‘useless’ to me. Marvin Williams was ‘unique’. Luol Deng was ‘unique’. Decent NBA players at best. To me jack of all trades means can’t do jack shit. A late lottery pick is what Aminu is.

13. Toronto Raptors – Kevin Seraphin

Raptors need more black players. Since Seraphin is black and European, this is the best choice for the Raptors. Chris Bosh might be leaving too so he fills a need at the power forward spot.

14. Houston Rockets – Anyone

Anyone that the Rockets think about or lay their hands on becomes a good player in the NBA. Aaron Brooks, Carl Landry, Chase Budinger are all players taken without a great pick. They picked up Chuck Hayes, Von Wafer was good for that stint. Luther Head had some good years early on in his career and in the 2008 draft, Rockets were after Brandon Roy. Whatever happens after draft night, one of the picks that the Rockets acquired will be a top 5 player of the draft class or at least one of the best players not selected in the top 5.

– Jordan

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